Church Hurt: Let's Talk about it

Church Hurt Let's talk about it:

I believe the reason why church hurt is so hard to overcome is because it's an offense with spiritual attachments and expectations. It's friendly fire. It isn't always intended hurt, and it isn't always known that one has been hurt.

1. Some church hurt is due to the intentional behaviors of others, such as manipulation, control, spiritual abuse, physical or emotional abuse etc. Usually, this would be leaders who are operating in sin themselves, knowingly or unknowingly. Categorized as wolves in sheep's clothing.

In these types of instances, all you can do is leave and forgive, especially if they are not willing to follow biblical guidelines of repentance, responsibility & accountability.

2. There is also the unintentional church hurt that includes misplaced expectations, disagreements, faulty perception, and misunderstandings. This can look like, "The leaders didn't support you or do what you thought they should. They didn't do this or that or say this or that." The list goes on forever.

In the church atmosphere, there are unrealistic expectations put on normal people. In the Church world, humanity is not accepted, and those, especially in leadership, are expected to be above humanity and not make mistakes.

If you have this POV, you will be hurt at some point. We all need a savior and a daily walk with Jesus because NONE of us know what we are doing. We are to be led by God, in obedience to his word and the leading of his Spirit. This does not mean we won't miss it or make mistakes.

I believe largely that a religious spirit is behind church hurt. The enemy has a field day with your mind when there are unresolved issues in your heart towards others. You will find yourself on a hamster wheel of being triggered and reverting to past scenarios.

If you're not careful, you'll completely step away from the church altogether and go back to the ways you lived before Christ. The enemy turns your offense between you and brother so and so and tries to get you to look at God sideways and blame him. Because of this, one will attack the entire church body and blame God.

I walked through the deepest church hurt season of my life years ago. It was an act of God that kept me through every step. I wanted to leave my church body, I wanted to isolate, but God would not allow me to. Some may argue this, that I could've done whatever I wanted. This is true to a point. However, I could not and would not be able to keep my peace if I were out of the will of God.

God sets us in the body. Sometimes for a season. Sometimes for life. We must remain where he has placed us and we must be close enough to him to know where this is. We must be planted to grow. PERIOD! There's a reason we are referred to many times in scripture as trees.

How to overcome church hurt. (not in this order)

1. Take it before God in prayer and fasting.

2. Write things out so you can see the details and make it a point to review them.

3. Own your part of the situation, recognize your expectations of the person.

4. Seek outside counsel or therapy

5. Do some inner healing and deliverance

6. Have a face-to-face conversation with the person so talk out the situation. This removes the enemy's ability to keep you in a hamster wheel and it removes his power.

Things NOT to do:

Don't speak about things publicly until you are healed, it just displays your unforgiveness and bitterness to others.

Do not dishonor because of pain. Two wrongs do not make a right. Remember the story of David and Saul.

Do not blast them all over social media and try to tell everyone how hurt you were.

The timeline on your healing may take days, weeks, months, or even years. It's a process, but be faithful to walk out your healing until the pain is no longer there. Do not try to self soothe in this time. Allow yourself to process the pain. Pain teaches us lessons if we are willing to listen but we can't be afraid to feel pain.

We must overcome the pain by discovering why and how it was caused, and also by not allowing it to become what controls us.

We don't live there.

YOU CAN NOT DO THIS WITHOUT GOD! If you try to do this in your strength, you will revert to trying to stop the pain by seeking pleasure in other places or comfort yourself by any means to numb it instead of heal it.

God offers true healing and deliverance.

You will not find it in a bottle, food, or any such thing. It's a choice we make and a process that God walks us through.

Healing is possible with God.